Why are you here?

This is a question asked by many Grooms as they begin the test of activities leading up to the wedding.

According to ladies , weddings are thrilling. According to Men , weddings may be boring, stressful, or dreadful; but are seldom described as thrilling. Do ladies and Men see something different in this event?

Think about all the traditional events that Men may face as they plan for their weddings. It is traditional for the Grooms to find their prospective brides ; ask for a date; pay all the bills as they court; meet the ladies ‘ parents and friends; make a good impression on everyone; develop vibrant relationships with the ladies ; ask the brides to agree to get married; ask the fathers of the fiances’ for the hands of the ladies ; announce engagement; attend pre-wedding showers; attend pre-wedding parties; attending wedding counseling; participating in wedding rehearsals; dressing up in formal penguin suits; get through the wedding ceremony; survive the wedding rehearsal; doing everything right without getting upset; even paying for the honeymoon.

When you think about it, why do Men experience so much stress over the long list of social encounters? If you have missed it, just watch Men at pre-wedding showers, parties, rehearsals, etc.

As a minister, I make it a practice of meeting with fiances’ and Bridegrooms a month or so before the wedding. In a majority of the situations, the ladies are all excited and full of ideas. The brides come with questions and notebooks ready to lay out every detail. Often Grooms come along with their fiances’ and sit there with blank stares.

During the meeting, I make a special effort to listen to Men . Given opportunity and prodded a little bit, Grooms usually have some great ideas for their weddings. It may take them more time to express their thoughts, unlike the effervescent brides who enter the room bubbling over with their ideas.

Are weddings just for brides ? Some have suggested so. On the other hand, to have a wedding you need both ladies and Men . Maybe out of a desire to avoid strife or not wanting to suppress their ladies ‘ enthusiasm; Men are often less aggressive as it relates to their weddings.

Sensitive expression of their ideas and feelings may challenge Bridegrooms , but it is vital for a meaningful wedding and launching a vibrantly healthy marriage.

The wedding planner or coordinator, the wedding minister, and the brides can greatly help support the Bridegrooms by early planning, effective listening, and genuine efforts to include the Men in every phase of the process. The better Men feel about being part of their own pre-wedding and wedding; the more likely they will enjoy successful marriage.

Little girls begin dreaming of their wedding day soon after they learn to walk and talk. Bridegrooms , on the other hand, begin thinking of their wedding day when they find their dream girl. It takes a little time for Grooms to catch up, but it is important for marriage to make sure Grooms are included in the process.

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