Experiments on animals I don’t understand

Posted on January 23, 2009 @ 2:33 am
by Albert Hennet

It’s well-known for now that by injecting fetal pig embryos with phosphorescent dyes the adult pigs will have green skin and glow in the dark. All I can say about this is: Yeah, what an excellent research! It is even difficult for me to count the number of times I needed to find my home pig in the midnight and I had to struggle to find my glasses and turn on a light. This will sure be a huge time saver for me, I can tell you, now that I can get a pig that will shine as bright as day.

My question for the scientists is whether they bothered to consult the Lord God Almighty before they did this. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Old Jehovah still own the patent for creating new life? I don’t know, maybe it expired. It’s a good thing that they were able to do this before they did another wasteful project like curing cancer. Cancer’s been around forever, but this is the first time we’ve ever had glow in the dark pork and I would rather have that over cancer any darn day. Wouldn’t you?

There is a real purpose for the scientists to make these unique porcines. And that purpose is to … find their pigs in the dark, I guess. Okay, that’s not the reason they gave. They said it was so that they could track medicines that could be used in human beings because pigs are often used for animal research since they are so close to human beings. I know you ladies will claim that this is only true for the half of the human race, but it really is all of us.

So, that’s why the scientists say they did it, but let’s face fact here: The real reason is that it’s just plain fun. Wouldn’t you want a pet that glowed in the dark? I sure would. And we all know that pigs make wonderful pets. Look at George Clooney. He has a Vietnamese pot bellied pig and he just loves the thing. Sure they get a might heavy as they get older, but most of us do and I would personally love a huge fat pet that made me feel skinny by comparison.

Then let’s take this a step further. Say that for some reason you do get tired of your huge green glowing friend? Glowing pork chops. Mmm, mmm. That would be sort of like a candle light meal, only you wouldn’t be eating your meal by candle light but by the light of the meat itself. Imagine how much more romantic that would be.

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